Breaking Down the Walls

July 4, 2009 [174 views]

Last weekend, I got the opportunity to watch my husband change his path and get on the right one. Throughout our marriage, I have been the stronger spiritual leader. It has been difficult and tiresome. Todd would never doubt our faith around the children, but the inner sadness I felt from knowing that we weren’t on the same page was pure torture for me. Many nights, I have prayed that the Holy Spirit would intervene and shine a light in his heart. Praise Jesus, the light is finally lit!

Todd was invited to attend an Emmaus retreat for men down in Miami at St. Louis Catholic Church. He really wasn’t expecting much out of it. He even told me a few times during the prior week that he wished he didn’t have to go. He just wanted to stay with us and extend the vacation we had been on. My heart was aching because I had been praying and having friends pray for a spiritual enlightenment for him. Even with going to weekly Mass and monthly meetings with our Teams of Our Lady group, he was still questioning his Faith. He is a very intelligent and science minded man, so he was struggling with whether all of it made sense.

Maybe it doesn’t make sense at first to most people. I’ve been told by some non-practicing Cradle Catholic friends that they can’t believe we can be intelligent beings and believe in fairies flying around watching over us. They believe in pure coincidences and more of “The Secret” way of believing, that we get back from the universe what we put out. It’s all about your “energy”. Well, I can say first hand that the Holy Spirit is working in our lives and at times He had to work very hard with Todd, but his journey has been incredible.

The retreat was inspirational for Todd. He wouldn’t go into detail with what happened over the weekend, because he wants me to experience it fully for myself at a future woman’s retreat, but he shared enough about what was happening with his internal examination. He said he was able to pinpoint the areas of his life that needed to be corrected and the pain he now feels for the people that were hurt, by his disregard for their feelings, along the way.

There is nothing more beautiful than watching my husband break down the walls, cry a true cry, and tell me how much Jesus is working in his life. He feels Our Father again and I believe him when he says life is going to be different now. I can finally step down from being the leader in the family, which was never designed for the wife to have, and let my husband take the role he has rightly earned.

God is so good. The walls have been broken down and now we can rebuild new ones.